i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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