...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
