I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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