Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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