I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
operation have a gay friend backfired
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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