i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
