How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Congratulations! We have a period
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
