On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
