I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
