how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
