so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
