then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
