I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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