I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
