I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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