There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
