Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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