I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
