my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
