Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
