I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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