I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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