I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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