New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
