What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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