Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
