i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How's work?
Spinning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
