Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
