yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
