I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
