They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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