Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
