does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
