When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
