Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
