Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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