we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
