Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
