If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
