I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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