As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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