I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
