are you still at the devil's house?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
