so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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