ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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