i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
