dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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