I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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