did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
