Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
