On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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