Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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