The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
