they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
